


I'll be home for the holidays

by ImaginaryDragons



Series: It's beginning to look a lot like Christmas [3]
Category: Young Justice (Cartoon)
Genre: Angst, Christmas fic, Fluff, Past Abuse, first part of this really delves into Artemis's abuse, happens between s1 and 2, the further it goes the fluffier it gets though, twas writing practice
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-12-22
Updated: 2019-12-22
Packaged: 2021-02-26 02:20:28
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,553
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21895795
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ImaginaryDragons/pseuds/ImaginaryDragons
Summary: Artemis was never one to believe in homes being anything but a building just a roof over her head that was all home was. That was all she needed it to be, but it wasn't all she wanted it to be.From the cold Christmases of the Crock house hold to the loving ones with her mother that were still stuck in the shadow of the dark memories of her father. Christmas had never been fun, or as nice as it was in the movies. Artemis always assumed she didn't like Christmas because she wasn't a holiday person. The truth was she wasn't a holiday person because she'd never had a happy home for the holidays.
Relationships: Artemis Crock/Zatanna Zatara
Series: It's beginning to look a lot like Christmas [3]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1213419
Kudos: 23





	I'll be home for the holidays

**Author's Note:**

> So this is just a one shot meant to help me practice my descriptive writing but it sort of turned into a christmas fic I hope y'all enjoy it

Christmas time was undeniably the cheesiest most annoying time of year. At least according to Artemis it was. It wasn’t that she didn’t enjoy the holiday itself but she was exhausted of the constant message of the holiday. NO matter where she went or what she watched it people were always talking about how it was all about family, how the holidays made all the problems of life go away. Artemis knew for a fact that was a lie. And if people weren’t talking about family they were talking about home. Movies were all about people finding that perfect home, somewhere with a family somewhere with love and no problems that cant be fixed in an hour. All the homes Artemis saw in Christmas photos and movies were warm and happy and even if the people in the photos hated each other half the time they really loved each other. It was all a constant reminder of what Artemis hadn’t gotten. A reminder of what could have and should have been. 

For Artemis home had never been that warm happy place that movies had. As a child home had been the crock household. Where they had lived when she was a toddler. They didn’t live there long only for about four years. It was back when both her parents were working for the shadows, and both of them were bringing home a high salary. It was all built on blood money but as a child she didn’t fully understand that. What she had understood was that their home was nice. A two story home the kind you’d see in a tv show. It was nice on the outside, it looked like every other house on the neighborhood. With it’s light pastel painting and it’s clean unassuming yard. Not too neat but not cluttered either. They never let the weeds grow out that would attract attention from the home owners association and their strict rules. Artemis remembers the strict rules more than anything else. She hadn’t understood why they had been so important to her family until she was older and realized that the reason they kept the rules so well was because they couldn’t risk anyone looking closer at them and realizing what went on behind closed door. 

That house had seemed like the house of a normal family but inside it was anything but. With it's cold grey walls and it's tile floor chosen just so that they would be able to get blood off of it easily. There were no carpets in the house, although they did have sections of hardwood. Everything in the house had been chosen for a purpose. It wasn’t for comfort it was all made to be easily cleaned so that at the slightest hint of trouble they could erase any evidence and run. That was the way of the shadows. Artemis could recall Christmases in that house. Early mornings of her waking up and tumbling out of her room (it was the only time she had a room that wasn’t shared with Jade) and rushing all the way up the stairs in the pitch black of early morning to her parents room to wake them up to open Christmas presents. Her parents room had been barren, only one or two photos that could have been packed and taken with them at a moments notice. Their room was also the only room that seemed to have any color. It was brightened by the colorful bed sheets. Artemis remembered those vividly. They were soft and comfy on nights when her parents were out on ‘business’ Artemis would sneak to their room and wrap herself in the fancy floral sheets. The deep purple, red and gold of the sheets serving as Artemis’s favorite colors as a child. They were comforting different than the sharp harsh colors of her parents suits. 

In Artemis’s own room the only sign of comfort had been her then brand new Alice in wonderland poster. She and Jade had both gotten their own. Jade’s later got lost in their fast move from the house as the fbi had been closing in on their family. The posters were all they were allowed to personalize their room. They had toys of course but they were generic toys just the bare bones. Nothing that would give away what type of kid lived there or what they were interested in. Everything about them had to be vague it had to be unassuming and completely unremarkable. The life of a shadow wasn’t one of luxury despite the amount of money made it was a life of bare necessities. If they let themselves have personalized luxuries then it would become a way to track them to find out information even the smallest bit of information, about them. 

Of course to make up for the lack of well humanity in their home her mother had tried to do everything to make them feel well remarkable. Her father of course had pushed them to be remarkable in their skill sets but Paula she had done everything she could to give them what childhood she could. That usually meant lots of movie marathons, it meant their mom telling them whatever fairy tales she could remember and Paula even coming up with her own. It was hours of playing pretend. For those first four years of life Artemis had that, but one day that all fell apart. When the FBI finally did close in and they got her mother. The rest was history after that. Moving from one apartment to another until they found one safe enough to stay in for longer than a week. 

The apartment they landed in was more personalized than their house but it was so much colder. With it's small rooms and thin walls. She could hear the sounds of Gotham at night and well at any other time. At first it had made it hard for her to sleep at night but Jade had always been there to read Alice in wonderland to her until she fell asleep. Things were never good there, not like they were at their first home. Christmas’s there were worse than any others. They rarely got gifts, that wouldn’t be a big thing if that also didn’t come along with her father dragging Artemis from bed in the early morning and ‘testing’ her. He’d force her through he house with bare feet on the splintering wood of the floor and push her through the dimly lit apartment and into the living room where he would have turned it into a makeshift training area. He would put down a few mats and move the tv and couch. Most Christmases she ended up covered in bruises. The one bright spot was when she and Jade would secretly exchange presents. 

It wasn’t until Jade left that Artemis really started to give up on Christmas, and every other holiday as well. Even when her mother got out of jail the old happy spark that days like Christmas used to have didn’t return. She would put on a happy face for her mother though. She’d act like everything was fine, like the holidays didn't make her want to punch a wall. She’d punched the wall in her room once and she’d punched right through it. The damn thing had been only a few inches thick with no real substance to it. Artemis wasn’t sure if she should have been glad that the hole didn’t make the room much colder or upset that the house was already so cold that Gotham’s winter weather didn’t have much of an affect. 

Later on the cave became the closest thing she had to a home, well a home that wasn’t tainted with painful memories like the apartment was. The cave was the least inviting place but it was the warmest place. Artemis grew to love the place. She hated the sharp and even jagged rough walls of the cave but when she realized that with the right gloves and boots she could use it to practice her climbing skills she had started liking it. She had sneered at the living room at first but when it slowly started transforming from just a couch and tv to a a room scattered with all their favorite movies and pictures of the team she started to like that as well. 

Her room at the cave soon became more personalized than the room she had in her own home. Some days Artemis wished that she had it in her to let that old apartment be as much a home to her as the cave was but despite how much she loved her mother and wanted that to be home there was too much darkness there. But the cave the cave was free of it all. SO she could be herself there with out the fear of her father coming in and yelling at her for daring to have pictures on the walls. Here it was a different type of home. It wasn’t quite home but it was safe. That's what it was not home but a safe place. That was good enough for Artemis. 

Even then after joining the team Artemis didn’t grow to like the holidays. She tolerated them because at least now she had more people around her, people that actually cared and made her smile. She may not show it often but she loved every annoying member of the team. She would put up with the holiday parties even if they made her nauseous just because they made the rest of the team happy, especially Zatanna. Zatanna loved the holidays with the team. They distracted her from missing her father. Artemis knew that’s hwy she focused on the team so much so Artemis gladly pretended to love it all just to help Zatanna. At the end of the month it was always worth it. All the annoying and sickening movies all the songs and the gift exchanges were worth it when Zatanna smiled like that. 

Soon enough Artemis “I put myself first” Crock’s holidays became all about making the people she loved happy. Whether it be her mother or Zatanna. Not that at seventeen she was ready to admit that she had a crush on Zatanna. Not for a while longer at least. When M’gann and Conner started going to the Kent’s on Christmas day Artemis jumped at the chance to invite Zatanna to spend Christmas with her and Paula. While Artemis was still firmly in denial about both her feelings for Zatanna and the fact that she was absolutely not straight, Paula was not. Though she kept that knowledge to herself, she wasn’t going to try to rush her daughter through coming out. 

That Christmas eve when Zatanna stepped into the Crock’s small apartment for a minute everything changed. The smile on Zatanna’s face and the excitement her mother had at sharing their home and at Artemis having a friend, was enough to make the whole place seem brighter. The grimey green of the walls looked clearer and newer and the usual annoying sound of the street seemed to fade, even the odd smell that the whole building usually had seemed to be gone replaced by something that made Artemis feel warm inside. Part of Artemis had been nervous in inviting Zatanna, after all Z had grown up much differently. Not only was she raised by a hero but from what she had told Artemis her father’s magic act had left them pretty well off. She was sure that their small dingy apartment would make Zatanna turn up her nose. It didn’t though, instead Zatanna was happily jumping in and offering to help Paula with cooking. 

Paula had fought her on it telling her that she was a guest she didn’t need to help but then just as Artemis expected, Zatanna pulled out the sad eyes. “But Ms. Nguyen really cooking is one of my favorite parts of the holiday please let me help out just a little.” The moment that Zatanna batted her eyelashes Artemis knew that her mother was a goner, and so was she. 

“She’s telling the truth mom she absolutely loves cooking and she won’t set the cabinets on fire like I did last year.” Artemis had said from where she was on the couch. She wanted to be spending more time with Zatanna but she didn’t dare go into the kitchen. The scorched underside of the cabinets attested to why she shouldn’t. Not even Artemis knew how the bowl of chicken noodle soup had gone so wrong. 

Artemis would forever remember how Zatanna had smiled that day, how she had laughed so lightly at the stories Artemis’s mother told her about Artemis’s many kitchen mishaps. It was the first time Artemis had seen Zatanna so happy, so light and so free of the pain that had been hiding just under the surface. It was a visible change. The way Zatanna’s muscles were more relaxed the way she moved everything about her just screamed happy. 

Part of Artemis was a bit jealous when Zatanna spent most of the day bonding with Paula. Something in her chest just made her wish that Zatanna was sitting next to her with her head on Artemis’s shoulder. She wondered what it would be like to spend Christmas eve snuggled up with Zatanna. She tried not to focus on that thought too much; she was sure that wasn’t something that friends should be imagining. She wasn’t ready to face that thought at that moment. So instead she just focused on trying to get comfy on the lumpy couch and trying to pay attention to the tv.

It took another year for Artemis to be ready to actually face those thoughts about Zatanna, well not just her she’d had a few crushes here and there but it was always Zatanna that her heart went back to. It took another year after that for her to finally get that Christmas that she had imagined. It was the last one before the two of them would move in together. They were moving to Nevada, partially so that Artemis could get a fresh start at a great college. She had waited a year to start because she’d wanted to make sure that her mother was all set up and that she would be fine with out Artemis around. Of course Artemis knew her mother was more than capable of taking care of herself but Artemis had already seen so many strong seemingly invincible heroes hurt that she couldn’t help but be extra worried for her mother. She had to be worried, especially when her mother was the only family she had left. She wished she could count Jade as family but the last time she had seen her older sister was on a battle field. 

That final Christmas at the old apartment was like no other. It felt as if the whole place had changed. Well not physically. Most of the place was furnished the same as always, the same old couch the same half broken tv with a cracked screen and the same throw blankets with their slightly odd unidentifiable smell. It was the same but it was different. In Artemis’s heart it was different. She had finally started leaving the past behind so now looking at the old place she could ignore the memories and ghosts her father had left, instead she saw her mother’s smiling face and saw the love her mother had pored into their little home. She saw the living room where she had tearfully nervously come out to her mother and been met with a hug and endless reassurances that she was loved and that she was valid and that her mother was beyond proud of her. The room one filled with cold frightening memories now filled with ones of happiness. The place was far from feeling like home but at least now it didn't’ feel like a nightmare, like a cemetery haunted by the ghosts and demons her father had left in Artemis's head.

Now sitting on the couch in the room that just two years ago felt so cold was warm now. It was more open more like what it should have been more like a home. This year Zatanna and her mother had both opted to fix dinner before hand. Paula had to work a day shift so she couldn't’ be home to cook with Zatanna, so they had agreed to have Zatanna fix something at the cave and bring it to Paula’s for dinner. While Artemis knew that Zatanna and her mother would have both been happier if they’d been able to cook there together. Selfishly she was happy though, because this meant that Zatanna would be able to sit with her and cuddle as they watched whatever Christmas movie was on. The couch may have been lumpy and the blanket scratchy but Artemis wouldn’t have traded that moment for the world. 

And now that very moment was framed on their wall right above the fancy fire place ( one of those sleek almost futuristic looking ones)in their home, in a real home. Paula had taken the photograph of them when they had been too distracted looking at each other to notice her or the camera. The place was littered with photos that Zatanna had put up. They ranged from ones of the team to family photos of Artemis, Zatanna, Jade, Roy, Lian and Paula all together. Photos of her family, both by blood and chosen. Despite how pristine the place was it was still warm and inviting in a way that none of Artemis’s other homes had eve been. Maybe it was the more colorful color scheme or maybe it was the fact that this home only help memories of love and not memories of abuse or abandonment. Artemis was sure that it was a healthy combination of the two that resulted in the place feeling like an actual home. There were no demons lurking in the shadows of this place, no memories that Artemis had to fight to keep down. No it was just love, yes there were fights and times when she and Zatanna had cried but that never took away from the love that remained. 

They had made a home, just for the two of them, where they felt safe where they were happy.

“Babe I’m home.” Zatnna walked in carrying an arm full of presents.

Zatanna had changed up her show times this week so that she would be able to be home to have dinner with Artemis over the holiday season. It seemed like a small thing but Artemis knew that for a performer like Z changing her show times was a big deal. It would cut into ticket sales, and take Zatanna out of the prime show times. With that in mind Artemis had taken extra care to have all of her work done before Zattana made it home. That way they could both just focus on being there together. What were usually nights spent working were (for the next week at least) nights spent watching Christmas movies and arguing over which one was the best. 

“Finally got some time for Christmas shopping huh?” Artemis leaned against the wall and watched as Zatanna magicked her bags away with a puff of smoke and a twirl of her hand. 

“I did, and I already hid your present somewhere else so don’t bother snooping.” Zatanna said walking over and giving her girlfriend a kiss on the cheek. 

“I only did that once and it was our first Christmas I just wanted ot make sure I got a gift in the same price range.” Artemis shot back. It was true she had been nervous to get Zatanna the right gift that year. They had just become official and she was terrified of messing it up by getting something too expensive or too inexpensive. So she had of course gone looking to see what Zatanna had got her.

“I know, and you did wonderful in getting me that gift. I absolutely loved it.” That year Artemis had ended up getting Zatanna a magical flower that shifted between forms depending on what the person closest too it was feeling. It had been hell to find and to buy but it had been worth it to see how much Zatanna had loved it. 

“That you did, I hope you’ll like what I got you this year even more.” Artemis said with a smile. There was a nervousness in her chest though. She was both excited and terrified to give her gift to Zatanna. She wasn’t sure if it was nice enough or big enough. It was hidden away in a box with Artemis’s old suit; a little velvet box containing a ring. It wasn't particularly flashy but Artemis had picked it out because the contrast of the black and white diamonds in the ring reminded her of Zatanna’s suit. She couldn't imagine a life with out Zatanna by her side. She couldn’t imagine living anywhere with out her. Because in truth Zatanna was her home. She was part of her heart and with that ring Artemis hoped to tell Zatanna just how important she is too her.


End file.
